Everything Is Ending
by accio-happiness
Summary: Oneshot. When his eyes fell shut though he expected to see nothing but darkness, feel the cold stone of the angel coming up on him, and smell the scent of his own blood as it clung to the air. He expected to hear some sobbing from the ginger to the right of him, he expected so much, but what he got was not what he expected at all.


**Hello lovely Doctor Who fanfitioners! I got this idea while trying to sleep after watching Dinosaurs on a Space Ship and Amy's little vice versa line and just ugh the feels. So this came about and I had to write it down, and while it's not the greatest I still wanted to share so, here you go! I hope you enjoy and I apologize for the grammar errors that are present. It is not my strong suit and Microsoft word can only do so much for me.**

**I do not own Doctor Who. If I did I'm pretty sure Amy would never leave because I adore her too much.**

There are several times in a human's life where they say that time just stops for a few moments, everything just… pauses. However for a timelord time can never really stop, after all one is just made up of time and space and to stop would be a bit, well odd. Especially if he didn't initiate the stop of time himself with the Tardis.

The Doctor really didn't understand how he had managed to get himself into this situation. Usually when it came to the angels he was careful, always watching and keeping his eyes open. Something must have gone wrong; a miscalculation along the way had to have been made for him to end up in this situation where once again he was standing one step away from death.

In front of him stood an angel, hands out, mouth open, and ready to pounce on him. He never tended to be back up against a wall with no way to get out without looking away from the angel in front of him. He had been trying so very hard to come up with a plan, some way to get out of this but nothing had come to mind he was lucky though. Yes, lucky… Lucky that the Ponds were not here to see this, he had faith that Amy could get them out. She was smart, like all of his companions, and had been with him long enough to know how to fly the Tardis. He was sure the Tardis would let her fly it just long enough to get them home. She may have been a bit tentative about his companions but she never seemed to mind having The Girl Who Waited.

There was a stinging sensation in the back of his eyes and he knew they were growing weak. They were begging to just flutter closed for one millisecond, just one and then he could go back to staring and staying alive. But no the Doctor understood that should his eyes fall shut the angel would close the small space between them and he would be gone. As strong as he may be he knew that this was probably the time. It had never crossed his mind that this would be how and when he would die, but he had lived a good life. He had saved so many, and perhaps maybe his life wouldn't be in vain. After all Oswell might have erased him from the system but she couldn't erase him from the memory of his companions and they would tell stories of him he was sure of that. No, his life surely wasn't in vain.

Just as his eyes were about to fall shut his name was called out, and he turned to look to the side. His brows knitted together in confusion and he wanted to bang his head against the wall behind him. No, this was not suppose to happen. This was supposed to be the time when for once she didn't see him face death. She was supposed to be occupied so she wouldn't have to witness this, but no at the end of the day Amy was always there. Whether it was in the back of his mind or here physically she was always there.

"Please, just stay back Amy. Just- just please shut your eyes." He could hear the slight begging tone his voice held when he spoke to her but he didn't care. He couldn't let her see this, he couldn't let her intervene. She never listened and perhaps this would be the one time where she would. He turned back around and the angel knew that he was giving up. They always knew when they had won. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut tightly, and balled his fist into his side hoping this would be quick. He had never witnessed an angel kill anyone but it always seemed to happen so fast and he could only hope that this would be true.

His life was so long, and whenever he was in situations like this he had never seen it flash before his eyes. After all how could 900 years go by in such a short amount of time? When his eyes fell shut though he expected to see nothing but darkness, feel the cold stone of the angel coming up on him, and smell the scent of his own blood as it clung to the air. He expected to hear some sobbing from the ginger to the right of him, he expected so much, but what he got was not what he expected at all. The scent of pomegranates clung to the air, and instead of cold stone he felt the brush of warm skin move in front of him, a strangled sob did come from the right but it was from a man, and a whisper of "I'm sorry, it's always been you." rang out from the figure that had moved to save him.

It was a voice that was so natural, it was the soundtrack that played in his mind whenever her thought it was time to find someone new. The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, his teeth grinding together as he demanded that things were not what they seemed to be. They couldn't be, no, because this was something that he could not handle happening.

The impact from the angel never came though, and he was forced to open his eyes and take in the sight before him. The angel was gone, stone scattered around the place in front of him. That was not what made him drop to the floor though. Before his feet laid his Pond, pale and cold to the touch, her eyes remained closed and there was no movement from her chest. He gathered her lifeless body into his arms and cradled her to his chest.

This was not how things were supposed to end; she was not supposed to be the one lying here. It should have been him, it deserved to be him. The word no fell from his lips in a repeated and whispered mess. He rested his forehead against her, "Amy, my Amy, you were supposed to listen for once."

The Doctor wanted nothing more than to cry right then and there, but no he was The Doctor. He had to be the strong one; at least he had to be strong enough to get Rory settled. He had to handle that and only then could he weep over the loss of his best friend, and the girl he had loved so dearly. She hadn't been technically his but they had always been tied together. He just hid his feelings better than she did.

He took one moment more to collect himself before picking himself and Amy up from the floor and turning to Rory. "I'm so-" he was unable to finish his apology. Rory was before him, face red, and tears leaving a trail down his face. Sometimes it was easy for the Doctor to forget that Rory had loved her just as much as he did. Only difference was that Rory was able to show his love for her, he was able to mourn her loss more than he. To him she was supposed to be just a companion and a best friend, nothing more than that.

"This is your fault! You were supposed to die. You were supposed to protect her." Rory's finger was pointed his way as he yelled at him. Did he not comprehend that the Doctor was well aware of all of this? He wanted to respond, but years of traveling with people had taught him to keep his mouth shut in instances like this. Rory punched a nearby wall before crying out in pain and clutching his fist into his chest. He looked back at the Doctor, eyes glistening with more tears that were threatening to fall. "It's always you." His words were quite now, "She always went out of her way to protect you."

The Doctor looked down at the girl in his arms, neither denying nor confirming the man's accusations. "I'm sorry." It was the only condolence he could offer him; after all he couldn't let him know that he was hurting just as much as he was. Rory chose to either ignore or disregard his comment instead choosing to look away from him out of anger. "Let's get you home then." The snide remark about home being with Amy went ignored because she was his home too.

The ride was fast for once, as if the Tardis knew that something terrible had happened. The silence in the air was frightening but expected. After all Rory was a companion but not one like the others. He was there for Amy. Rory knew that to have her, he had to go with the Doctor. Because if it came between the two, well… Rory was too afraid to find out what her choice would be. After all he always doubted her, feeling that the only reason she was with him was because the Doctor was unavailable.

With the absence of Rory from the Tardis came the absence of Amy's corpse as well. This was both a curse and a blessing. No longer would she be present here with him, no longer would her laughter and teasing nature echo through the many different areas of the Tardis. No, she was gone and with her went most of the things the Doctor knew about from this life. Suddenly fish fingers and custard didn't seem so special, and the thought of being ginger was unappealing.

Time after Amy's death proceeded to go by quicker than when she was alive, if that was at all possible. The Doctor had tried and failed many times to go back and save her. Unfortunately, her death was a fixed point in time. It was something he could not change, and should he for his own selfish benefit it would ruin time and space as he knew it.

He had people sacrifice themselves for him in the past, but never one of his companions. He was always able to save them, all of them except for her. The Doctor was brought back to the room that held his greatest fear, seeing her death. He had hoped his limited time with the Ponds would save her from that fate, but obviously he was wrong. It wouldn't be the first time nor the last he supposed but it hurt none the less.

The Doctor hadn't been invited to her funeral; he told himself the invite was probably lost in space somewhere. The truth though was always in the back of his mind though, he wasn't wanted. After all this was his fault. Rory wouldn't forgive him for this, and he understood that. He didn't quite think he could forgive himself either.

Still it didn't stop him from sneaking in through the back; however he was unable to make it through the whole service. To many faces, and people talking about how much they cherished the dead girl and how they remember her telling stories of a mad man in a blue box. No he couldn't very well sit through that. So he left, to a time much quieter and happier than this one. He went back to when Amy was alive, and though it seemed like he was clearly off his rocker he didn't care. Even though it was little Pond he was watching it was still nice, after all this Pond was breathing and that was more than his Pond now.

For the Doctor it was as if time had suddenly stopped after the Amy's death. Sure the world around him had kept on moving, and people had grown older but he stayed the same. Always going back to a time where she was still there and alive, re-experiencing the things that they had done together just so he could have her in his life in some form. But every now and then things would slip and a voice would ring inside of his head telling him this wasn't healthy.

The voice started to grow more persistent, until one day he voiced it the topic out loud. Amy and him had just visited Van Gough for the tenth time and where on their way to the next destination. The Tardis was flowing freely and Amy was still reeling over the fact that Van Gough had died despite her efforts. At this point he could understand her pain, Amy was his Van Gough. "Amy?" She glanced up at him a worried expression on her face. "If there were to- well, if you were to-" He had always been good at saying what was on his mind but the words weren't coming out as smoothly as he would have liked. "Doctor, just spit it out already." She huffed as she crossed her arms together, the worry line on her forehead growing more prominent.

"Just if there were to come a day when you and I were no longer together what would-" Amy cut him off, crossing the space between them in three easy steps. "Doctor," her voice was soft and a frown replaced the scowl she had on earlier. She placed her hands on his shoulders and stood up on her toes and kissed his forehead. "There comes a day, when everyone must die. You should know that better than anyone. I wouldn't expect you to mourn over my loss forever." He looked down at her taking in everything about the girl from her soft locks of hair, to her milky complexion. He grabbed a piece of her hair and twirled in around his fingers, avoiding her glance. "What if it was my fault that you were dead?"

Amy scoffed slightly at his words, "You would never be at fault, Doctor." He looked at her, searching her eyes for any signs that she was lying. He found none though, "But if you were to step in front of me to save me?" She moved her hands from his shoulders and wrapped her arms around his lanky frame. "If I were to sacrifice myself for you it is my choice and mine alone. Can't you see how special you are Doctor? To me losing you would be so much more painful than death. Living in a world where you do not exist would be heartbreaking."

The Doctor said nothing more after that, instead choosing to fall into the hug and cherish it because this was him letting go of her. Or at least him letting go of trying to recreate time with her. The Doctor still had so many regrets when it came to Amy. Though in his own defense every move he made with her had been for her benefit. Never telling her how much he truly cared had been for her, after what had happened with Rose, he couldn't do that to another girl he cared for. So he had pushed her into Rory, making sure that at the end of the day she had him. He had always known how she felt about him, sometimes he would forget but she would do or say the littlest things to remind him.

The Doctor's time with Amelia Pond was over, and he just had to except that. There was no way to save her, and unbeknownst to her she had said all the things he needed to hear in order to stop living in the past. So he finished his last adventure with her, before dropping her off and saying goodbye. Knowing that for him this was the last time. A small ache filled his heart as he watched her stand there in her tiny garden waving at him with a light smile on her face. "I'll see you soon Doctor!" Were the last words that he would hear her say, and to be honest they were much better than the small apology she had uttered before her death with the final confession of her love for him. These were so much more hopeful and so he cherished them keeping them locked up as he forced a smile and a promise to be back soon.

Once in the Tardis he started her up, with a glance to the seat that Amy usually occupied, he entered in the time that was needed. "I couldn't save you my dear Pond so I might as well save someone else."

There would never be a time in The Doctor's life where he forgot about Amy. With each new companion he compared them to her, and while they never came up to par they still helped ease the small mark that she had left on his heart. Sometimes though, when he was just by himself, in a place where they had shared a moment together he would get this feeling. This warm sensation would overtake him, and the smell of pomegranates would fill the air. In those moments he knew that she was still with him, that from wherever she was she was looking over him. And that knowledge in itself was enough to keep him from spiraling back into the past.


End file.
